Big News Reveal... And no I'm not pregnant

Well I guess it's time to explain myself. For the past several months I've hinted at my life needing... well some change. I was happy with a lot of aspects of my life and unhappy with a lot of aspects in my life. I finally decided me and only me could make this change. I owed it to myself, my husband, my family and even my sweet friends who constantly are soo supportive to make a change. So it began...

The job hunt. Yes... the most difficult, zero results, frustrating hunt known to man kind. At least in Atlanta with a 9.3% unemployment rate, zero connections and I know little about the city. So it began. Qualifications:

*Shorter commute (currently I'm at 2-3 hours a day)

*Something semi related to my career path/ goals (marketing, PR, events, coordination, etc)

*Something I could actually enjoy, fully dive into and gain something in return

*Different environment- maybe younger, not so corporate stuffy

*Different hours- I would like to see my husband more than 15 minutes a day (literally)

Sooo off it went.... after 200+ emails, applications, deperation within the past few months the good Lord has shown me HIS timing verus MY timing and....

I wish I could explain in words the relief, the joy, the lack of stress and the happiness I have about all of this. My last day at my job now is June 17th. I decided to take 2 weeks off to just relax, get a LOT of things accomplished and regroup before starting the new job July 5th.

It was a LOT of work, tears, stress and heartache. It wasn't easy. But it wasn't up to me. It wasn't my plan or my choice but God knew what I needed, what I wanted and what was best for our lives right now. There was no celebration, no how proud we are of you, no nothing.... Just me myself and I trying to make something of a career for myself. Trying to support hubs through school and trying to live out life through the Lord.

La Da Da Da La Da Da....

Today...my friends... is a good day....

Let me tell you why.

1. I have 2 hours and 45 minutes left of work till I am outta here for the weekend. (PRAISE the good Lord)

2. I am headed to where else... home sweet home Tennessee

3. I finally get to have some normal socialization in my life.... bachelorette party tonight downtown Nashville. Let me tell you... I need this. I need to let lose and have some fun. And see these girls who i love ohh sooo much

(all blinged out I must say now)

3. I get to spend tomorrow with my Pa at his new digs- the PT facility- trying to get him stronger for some ass kicking cancer treatment (aka radiation).

4. I have some VERY and let me say VERYYYYY exciting news to share soon... For any of you on the long haul with me and this blog you might have a clue as to what this is.... A few more things to confirm and finalize and you will be seeing one hell of a post coming your way :) Stay tuned.

5. This just might be the cheeriest post i've done in a  month now :) Hopefully we are starting a new trend!

HAPPY WEEKEND!!!



Seriously.....

Soo I tried this last week... I went to post... it deleted everything... so I gave up, cussed blogger and called it a day. Lets try again.

Seriously... why is my life NOT in the place I want it right now. Definitely hit pretty low lately. Grandpa is dying, hubs just got word due to STUPID school wanting MORE money they are pushing back his graduation 3 more monhs- UGHHHHH, Professionally I am completely not where I think I need to be, I am the most impatient person in the world and I've been staring at my phone for the last 10 days now waiting for some good news... NADA. 

Seriously.... I need a vacation. Hubs keeps saying we dont need to spend the money... what he doesn't understand is right now it's NOT about the money but about my sanity. I have a lot on me right now and honestly its not about the pretty beach or fruity drinks (although both would be nice). I need to get away. I need to relax.. I need a vacation before I lay on the floor and have a major breakdown.

Seriously... why are families so complicated?! Shouldn't they be the easiest part of your life... its FAMILY! Let me just tell you its not.... Blended/ divorce families are soo damn difficult. Whose kid is whose, who do we favor, who did what or who didn't do what. It's endless and right now it sucks. I just wish everyone could get over the BS and get along, or invite you on their family vacationm, or remeber your apart of the family... should I go on?! :)

Seriously.... it's in the mid 90's in Atlanta today... miserable. If I was at the pool soaking up the sun I might not be complaining... but in my work stuff sweating walking to the car for lunch and back.... yea no thanks!

Seriously.... I am the most un-fun, un-cheery, un-happy blogger I know right now! If anyone... and I'm being completely serious has any connections in Atlanta PLEASE let me know! I'm at the verge of desperate. Message me for more info.

Seriously.... I need to get with it!!



What I'm Loving Wednesday

Happy Hump Day!! I thought I would chime in for some What I'm Loving Wendesday to dig deep and try and pull out the positives in life right now in such a time of heartache.

I'm Loving that it's about to be a long weekend. Memorial Day usually means a weekend full of lake lake and more lake. However with the current family situation it will be less tanning and drinking and more spending time with the true meaning behind happiness- FAMILY. I would be lying if I wasnt even a bit sad about not being at the lake all weekend... but I will have so much more peace getting to spend time with my Pa at the hospital.

I'm Loving my new phone. It was upgrade time for hubs... before you think I stole his upgrade just listen... he cares nothing about phones. But he needed something new- so he decided he would take my blackberry that I just got and I could get a new something since I actually care about cute and fun phones. I dont know why....call me crazy... but I didnt want the iphone. Daddy has a Droid X and loves it....and now so do I.... L.O.V.E.! Obsessed. I'm officially in big kid awesome phone world!

I'm loving that I am eating awful as of late (insert extreme sarcasm here). Yes, I'm a little beyond stressed, typically I dont eat when I'm stressed, and I havent really for that matter. But when I have... hmmmm I was craving a cheeseburger the other day, add some fried rice I was dying to have, Corn dip that was leftover in the fridge.... yea NOT good. Whats the deal?! It's either no calories or 500 calories in one sitting. UGH

(looks good doesnt it) :) Your welcome

I'm loving  my family, my husband and my friends right now who have been ohh soo supportive. Hubby knows just how to piss me off to get my mind off of everything and on to why he doesn't think at times :) (all with love honey, all WITH love), my daddy who picks on me and everything I say to get out a small laugh and maybe break the tension of just about E.V.E.R.Y conversation. My wonderful friends who are texting, emailing, facebooking you name it checking in on me. Including my blog friends. I can't tell you how many emails I just cried because of your sweet words and similar situations. it compeltely helps me through the day!



I think God gets it....

Soo you all have seen my blog over the last week or so... I just haven't been myself. Really to be honest I've been a complete mess. I cry at LEAST 2-3 times a day, I feel like I have more on me than I can handle and to be REALLY honest I feel myself daily at some point saying WHY God are you doing this right now. Why can't I have a small ray of light SOMEWHERE in my life.

Little did I know I have it... not in an event or a thing or heeling right now but in the people He has surrounded me with. Let me explain:

My poor husband. He knows I am a trainwreck. He watches me randomly start crying, which turns saddness into anger and anger into questioning. He just sits there and lets me cry, listens to rant and question why everything under the sun seems to be wrong. He doesn't get mad when I dont ask how his tests at school or how his work was that day, or why I haven't worked out and instead drinking my wine and doing nothing productive. He just deals with me, with us, with this situation. God put him in my life for a reason. He knows I need my husband now more than ever. I need to cry on him and I need him to care right now.... God gets it.... I am the one too consumed to "get" it



Then you have my daddy. I see how much I am struggling through this.... my goodness I can't imagine what my dady is going through... watching his own father go through this. HE is sitting at the hospital day in and day out watching this all unfold. Then he comforts me, he comforts Pa, he continues to be a provider, a father, a husband and right now, most importanly, a son. I came to realize all this last night. I was soo upset over everything.... and it hit me.... I need to not JUST focus on me and this situation but how this is hurting everyone else in this family just as much as me.

I  HAVE to get back on track. I have to take care of myself, and my husband, our home, our dogs, our finances. I have to. This weekend is the start of that... I was going to run home so I could be at the hospital but I need to be here. I need to take some time to relax, work on our house and just get back to life. So... here's to this weekend... sweet husband scheduled me a massage for tomorrow morning. Then its off to running some errands, maybe work in the yard and even get some tanning going on. Here's to putting God back in control and letting him take over. Clearly I can't do this on my own.

*Sidenote: so last night after I got home and was changing clothes I saw a missed call on my phone... listen to the voicemail... its our head pastor at our church calling to check in on me and my Pa. OK...backtrack.... I serve on our hospitality team... I sent the lady in charge of it all an email just saying "hey I have a lot family wise going on, my grandpa is sick, I will be home most weekends and not able to serve for a little bit" That was IT. No please pray or pass along to our senior pastor kinda thing. I was shocked. Within 3 hours of me sending that email the message got all the way around to our Pastor- Ike- and he was calling me. I felt like I was talking to someone famous.... It was amazing. He cared that much about my Pa, and really about us and our family and how we were doing. It was amazing. Really brought peace to my heart. We talked for almost 20 minutes about any and everything you could imagine. It was so humbling and just amazing. Pretty incredible the things God can do in the smallest way to make the biggest difference. 

Soo I'm done on my soap box.... Hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend! I appreciate all your sweet comments. It really helps throughout the day.